Having spent the last 12 years of my life in a elementary or middle school classroom. This is the first time in my life, that during this season, I am not organizing or preparing a classroom for children. Instead, this season, I am the student. Not in the traditional way, as a graduate student, but a student of life and faith. I realize that I have been quiet for far too long- silenced by my fears, worries, and concerns. Silenced by perception, and presenting an incomplete story of me and my journey. The truth is, last month on this journey, was super rocky and full of uncertainty. But as always, God has been faithful to provide all my needs and even a few of my wants. This is exciting news because it's an indication that he cares about the things that concern me.
I spent the last two months, July and August, diving into what it means to have a real servant's heart. I thought I that I was well versed in this area and had no room to grow. But very quickly into my first month, it was revealed to me that this was in fact a major area of growth. I remember having a very candid conversation with my husband about the way in which I serve, and boy did he check me. He made it clear that my spirit was not always right and that often times I seemed upset. I was intially hurt, then angry, and later shocked because this was news to me. I didn't see myself and my behavior from his perspective. Funny enough, I thought the same about him, and we were feeding off each other's emotions.
For example, my youngest has been on a potty training quest for over a year now, and she's now nearing 4 years of age; and we have grown weary. This situation is very frustrating and my husband's tolerance for it has definitely faded. So often times, when there is a potty issue, I just jump in to fix it, knowing that he hates it. However, over time I've gotten upset about his unwillingness to help in these times. So, yes I serve, but I serve with contention. Which makes him feel bad, I'm angry, and I'm sure the baby is not happy about it either.
In recent week I saw another example, with my sister as she is in the position to serve my mom, during this season of personal health challenges. Serving my mom wasn't that big of a deal, but serving my dad alongside my mom is a bigger issue, considering a few strains on their relationship. It was easier for her to do for my mom than my dad based on the quality of their relationship. This approach seems understandable, and a natural response. But I believe that God is challenging us, me first, to serve others the way he would; separate from how they treat us. It is in these times that our obedience and understanding of his word in our lives, becomes clear.
So now when it comes to how I serve my clients within my business, I am openly aware of the ways I serve when tension and stress are high. On days when I really don't feel up to going the extra mile...how will I choose to respond? This month, as I focus on the re- invention of myself as an entrepreneur, I am committing to being mindful of the services and "service" I provide; it's what sets me a part from others, and uniquely a woman of virtue.