Updated: Mar 9
Have you ever gotten your feelings hurt so bad, you can't even begin to imagine how you will recover? Has someone ever hurt you in such an egregious way that you can't even fathom allowing them to ever be in close proximity to you again? Pain is real. Hurt feelings are real. The shame or embarrassment caused by someone using their words carelessly on you is real. The neglect, selfish behaviors, or disregard for your feelings seems real. How do you find the strength to forgive when you've been deeply hurt like this? Where is the courage to believe located? Where do you even start?
Well Friend- you start at the beginning- prayer. Having a conversation with the only person who has the patience, concern, and time to hear all about our troubles. Prayer is not only a opportunity to tell God how BOMB he is, but also to share with him how I feel about your experiences as his creation. It's a chance to share your true feelings without being afraid of offending him or someone else. He is the moment to transfer the weight of the offenses carried in our heart, to his shoulders that a wide and strong enough to carry. You can trust his character even when you can't trace his hand- you know that he's watching and cares.
Sometimes you just can't see it. You can't seem to find the faith to forgive. This is when you borrow someone else's faith, on credit until you have faith enough to believe for yourself. Recently I was faced with a hard situation that just laid me out every time I tried to wrap my mind around it. All I could do was reach out to a friend who loves the way that I do- and has a heart and ear to hear. I asked her can I borrow her faith and prayers on the issue...because I couldn't feel believing or create the words to ask God for what I needed to see. She partnered with me in that moment and allowed me to stand holding on to her as a brace. This was one of the most selfless experiences of kindness that I can recall in my adult life. I needed someone and God allowed them to be there.
Today I was reminded of the story of Elisha and his servant who were surrounded by the enemy coming to attack them. Elisha appeared to be unshaken and the servant couldn't figure out why. Finally in 2 Kings 6:17 he prays, ""Lord please open his eyes and let him see." So the Lord opened the servant's eyes, and he saw that they mountain was covered with horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha." Sometimes we just need to see our circumstances the way that God sees them. From God's perspective. The concerns, burdens, and weights all become small when you recognize the size and strength of our God in comparison. It takes courage to trust God's vision for your life over what you see and experience everyday.
Trust that the process is at work. Sometimes God sets us up to see how we will function. Will we consult him before we make a decision or a move? We will we honor his word/ instruction over our own? Either way he has a plan, whether you want to submit to it or acknowledge it, is up to you- but his plan, will be done. Remember that Faith comes by hearing, so hear the word of the Lord. Be mindful along this journey that what you hear will greatly impact the outcomes of your life. What you watch on television, the podcasts you listen to, the conversations you keep with persons who are unequally yoked for your future, all influence you. Choose the route least taken, courageously go and do what others won't- then you will receive the treasure that many will never find.