Do it again - Celebrating 2 years
Well--It's been 2 whole years!
It's unbelievable to thinking about how much GOD has done in my life. He's true to his promise! He's never failed me yet! In the beginning of 2016 I recall reflecting on the miracles I experienced early on in my life and asking God to show himself to me again. My exact words were " it's been twenty years since I've seen you work in my life in a bold way; do it again Lord." And He did.
The greatest part about my 2 year anniversary is that almost exactly to the day, I received a text message from an old colleague telling me that she too had decided to follow the voice of God and walk away from her role as a principal. The ironic thing about this experience is just months before I was set to become her assistant principal, I walked away---trying my best to explain what I felt God was calling me to do at the time. It was a hard move for me, and I can imagine an even more difficult move for her. It's scary, exhilarating, freeing, and a game of "what if" dodgeball.
During this same season, I was able once again to go teach a group of women, on my birthday, about Priorities. Seeking God's kingdom (agenda) first, and his righteousness, and in this order- all the other things that we are concerned about and desire will be added to our experience. What I have come to realize is that God is never trying to take things from you, He is only trying to make space for thing that He wants to give you. IF you are holding on to the stuff that you think you need, then you have no space or room for growth or to receive all that He has in store for you.
At 36, I no longer want to spend my time thinking of all the things I need. As the oldest child, I was always responsible, sometimes too responsible. As a kid, I often found myself thinking about what bills needed to be paid, and if they weren't on time- what might happen. So I started the pains of adulthood as a child. At this point I've been doing this for a while and I'm tired of living my life attempting to be on the lookout for all things concerning me. I have decided to put my very best effort and energy into doing the things that I must; and pray that God covers me in my human frailty on the rest.
After the loss of my mother, lots of things have become clearer to me. Time, Health, Vision, Legacy, and Love. These are just some of the bigger lessons I've garnered through this experience. But most of all, I have learned about the Freedom of mind that is necessary for me to accomplish the tasks that God has set before me- with a clearness and weightlessness of mind. However in order to have the capacity to do these things, I have to voluntarily put down the other, not so important things that cloud my head and my emotions. So I've signed up to be a part of my own rescue mission. It starts by surrendering- so I quit.
I quit holding emotional real estate in my life for people who aren't concerned. I quit being disappointed by others. I quit holding grudges and unforgiveness. I quit being more worried about work than my family. I quit being off balance and short with the people who matter most to me. I quit feeling depressed about the way things could have been, and stressed about the way things should be. There is no time or space for this anymore....God has opened a door for me----very wide, He's got my attention, inviting me in, so I have to quit all of this, so I am free to do THAT. That which He has called me to do.