My weekend: Things pop up, some stuff I want to do, some stuff I don't want to do, and stuff I need to do. This seems to be the life of the average adult. This weekend I didn't want to do anything. Well as a wife and mother of two this can be very troublesome. As I opened the refrigerator it was clear that I needed to go grocery shopping but I didn't want to. I did some things at church that needed to be be done- but I didn't want to do that either. My husband reminded me about a Christmas party that I had agreed to go to; but for whatever reason, that wasn't alluring either. So there I was irritated and upset about life- for no good reason. So I decided to ask GOD.
My prayer was simple- Why am I feeling this way? I feel so off balance and irritable about things I would ordinarily be happy to do. What is wrong with me? Am I depressed? Then I started to think of all the things that could be the problem... family, home, finances, work, business, etc. But I reconciled that these are all things that are normal experiences and shouldn't be the cause of my apathy. I waited to hear something... and then later a thought came to me. 'You're not focused on me and the work that I've given you to do. You are looking and doing everything else- its a distraction. ' Freaked out by what I was doing and immediately knowing what I wasn't and should have been was a "fall- out" moment. I needed to invest time with God in a more intimate way through my blog, small group meetings with women, and writing curriculum that I've been given for over a year.
When I'm here, in this space, that spirit of GOD takes over and allows me to flow in a way that I know is not me. He allows me to teach in a different capacity, to grow at a higher level, and to fellowship the way he designed us to live. He simply wants us to follow his lead- be disciples and Ask God.
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